Wednesday, July 03, 2002
Strange letters
78538392">10:22:00 PM
Letter From Uganda
A huge Rhinosarus stamp on a blue and red edged envelope brought you, a twelve-year-old Kampalan princess, into my home.
You greet me with God on your lips, inform me that your father cancer-rotted, your mother exploded, exporting you to grow strong under the soft dove wing of a priest. He too, the man of sacred crosses, left you, fused in a motor accident, a permanent dashboard icon. Now you alone look to me, an American girl, to save you, to add to your compound cleaner stash.
I notice your hand-printed letter has the same puffy circles, the dots of an “i” that I once filled my letters with, brim and bright. For a moment I want to give you everything, yet my family and friends bellow loudly into my ear, “How did she get your address?”
I refold your precious missive, snuggle it back into the envelope, and tenderly place it in my Hamlet box labeled, “Things I Maybe Should Have Done In This Life."
78516691">11:10:00 AM
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
Private Correspondence
78495350">10:08:00 PM
Private Correspondence
78495240">10:04:00 PM
Monday, July 01, 2002
Darling,
This afternoon I found this photograph from our wedding. I can still feel my nervous body being pelted with rice...and I thought I was dead. I was so unsure of myself when I married you, my hand tightly grasping yours. I was sure that I would suffocate.
But now, in the mornings, our bed still damp from the night before, when I look into your sleeping face I know I made the right decision. I surrendered and decided to allow you to love me to death. Our bodies naked and touching, your arm still around my waist...Do you know I feel your body shift with mine throughout the night? How I love that!
I was so wrong. Instead of suffocating I have begun to bloom like an orchid opening to the sun. At one time all of that dating and mating was on my mind, but not now. You have released me from that gnawing. You have given me a comfort and surety like I have never known. I can love you so fully, with all of my heart, and now I have a clarity to attain what I want to do with my art. I can focus. What a gift you have given me! My heart is beating so fast as I write this to you!!!!
I wonder how you always knew, even from the very beginning, that I was the girl for you? You said I wasn’t like any other girl you knew, that I was a free spirit , and that you would never do anything to strip that out of me. You never gave up on me through all of my silliness. I wouldn't even move in with you that first year we were together. Then I spent nearly a year away from you. But you called every week making certain that I was okay. You sent me flowers. You loved me and allowed me the time to make up my mind. Thank-you. You amaze me. How I want to kiss your lips right this very moment.
Mason, you have given me the world. I just want you to know that. I love you more than life itself. Our two years together have been a dream. I only hope that I can always give you the same potent intoxication that you have given me...and the freedom! Yes, the freedom. Baby you rock!
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Jamie
78451627">10:46:00 PM
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